A common aphorism is that “nice guys finish last.”^[3] The phrase is attributed to baseball manager Leo Durocher in 1939, though Durocher was originally referring to the opposing team rather than to male/female relationship dynamics. The full quote is, “Take a look at them. They’re all nice guys, but they’ll finish last. Nice guys. Finish last.”

“Nice guy” is a term in the general public discourse and in popular culture for a male with certain personality traits and behavior. A typical “nice guy” is a man who likely to put the needs of others before his own, avoid instigating confrontations, do favors, give emotional support, and generally act in a way consistent with the general meaning of “nice”. It is an active debate whether these traits, which have historically been considered valuable in courtship, may actually make a man less desirable from a sexual perspective. Supposedly, “nice guys” spend a lot of time in the friend zone.

Nice guys finish last with women

The “nice guys finish last” view is that there is a discrepancy between women’s stated preferences and their actual choices in men. In other words, women say that they want nice guys, but really go for men who are “jerks” or “bad boys” in the end. Desrochers (1995) claims that many “sensitive” men do not believe that women want “nice guys” due to their personal experiences.

According to McDaniel (2005), popular culture and dating advice “suggest that women claim they want a ‘nice guy’ because they believe that is what is expected of them when, in reality, they want the so-called ‘challenge’ that comes with dating a not-so-nice guy.”

Urbaniak & Kilmann (2003) write that:

“Although women often portray themselves as wanting to date kind, sensitive, and emotionally expressive men, the nice guy stereotype contends that, when actually presented with a choice between such a ‘nice guy’ and an unkind, insensitive, emotionally-closed, ‘macho man’ or ‘jerk,’ they invariably reject the nice guy in favor of his ’so-called’ macho competitor.”

Nice guys finish last at work

Courteous. Trusting. Good-natured. Cooperative. Tolerant.

These are the traits your mother told you — repeatedly — to embrace. “They’ll make people like you.” “You’ll always have friends.” “You’ll go far.”

Mom was wrong, at least as far as business success is concerned.

Why being nice hurts your career

So, why is it a problem for career success? One reason: People with this natural personality trait may be less likely to face confrontation or other difficulties at work.

Being mean is not the answer

Does this mean you have to be mean? Absolutely not. Going to the other extreme and being abrasive, or a toxic co-worker or leader, is equally damaging to your career, as well as to others in the organization. Let me repeat: The evidence is overwhelming that being abrasive, disrespectful, abusive and mean will also derail a career.

Overall, being trusting, cooperative, forgiving and tolerant are all good things. But it’s critical to recognize that any trait used in excess or inappropriately can become a weakness.

Your next steps to success

First, you should determine what traits are preventing you from accomplishing goals or engaging in behaviors important to your job, or are creating negative perceptions of you as an employee and leader.

Finding a balance

Can being too nice hurt your career? Yes. Can being too mean also kill your promotion chances? Yes.

Pretty interesting article that being a nice guy has always cause me my job, for most it is a sign of a weakness, not a strong point.

There would be a time when Mr. Nice Guy has to put his foot and tells Mr. Bully that “You’ve mistaken my kindness for my weakness, Sir, that is my strongest point”, though, it always seen as being a fool and in that reality they are right. What can one do when their reality is not your reality and vice versa. I’ve come to a point when I really need to see it their way, can this old dog learn a new trick? I sure hope so because my lively hood depends on it.

To summoned it up I guess being nice should be done in moderation and through your knowing people that you trust.

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View more demo videos from there site.

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• November 9, 2009 -- WPtouch iPhone Theme

Aiesha_Steward-Baker

The girl that was attacked in the Bus Tunnel in Seattle not long ago was also accuse of attacking another person in a different town at a different time,..huh?

Doesn’t this give “Karma” justice or what. For a moment when you watch the tape of  Aiesha Steward-Baker being kicked on the head while the Seattle security just watch, now it makes sense a little, I mean, did they know not to help her some how, because appearantly the people that beat the crap out of her could have they known each other some how? Go get your street thang here for a minute, remember this kids now a days have much more of ways of getting in touch with each other and back when we were growing up all we had was the word of mouth.

My suspicious mind thinks that the kids who beat the crap out of her knew her and what she was and thought her a lesson, basically gave her her own medicine.

Now this little twat is seeking damages and could make her rich,but after she serves some time in jail for also attacking an innocent person. What’s also disturbing about this little twat is that she had committed a couple of crimes herself and when it came to her being a “victim” she comes running to the authorities, what kinda people are this and who raises this people, why can’t we not just permanently put a tattoo on her forehead for what she is, she’ll get worse as she grows older and let alone will reproduce and multiply.

Tamie Cox, of Shoreline, says she was disturbed when she saw the now-infamous videotape of 15-year-old Aiesha Steward-Baker being kicked, punched and robbed in Seattle’s bus tunnel. Cox was herself the victim of an assault and robbery on May 23, when she was attacked on an Edmonds street by two girls. One of the girls arrested and charged in the assault was Steward-Baker.

“The video of the [transit tunnel] beating is awful, but once I saw her on ‘Good Morning America’ it made me sick to think that she has the nerve to play the victim when a few months back she was doing that to somebody else, and that somebody else was me,” said Cox, 50, an accountant at a law office.

While the images of Steward-Baker being kicked while she is on the ground are clearly troubling, prosecutors in two counties say she has been on the other end of assaults twice in the past year.

In addition to the alleged assault on Cox — in which Steward-Baker is expected to plead guilty in Snohomish County Juvenile Court on Monday — she also has been convicted of attacking a security guard at a Seattle market.

Read more from the Seattletimes.com

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Green Screen Effect

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MK-HexaKopter Flight-Test, GPS-Test and Payload-Test.

I so want one of this, not only to play with but to use for photographing (video) down on earth. This site where the video is originated tells you much more about HexaCopters, if one day it might influence you to build one, that would be great.

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King County has a contract with a firm called Olympic Security Services Inc. that helps the Metro transit police, and according to that agreement, “unarmed security guards are instructed not to intervene when witnessing suspicious behavior or criminal activity, but to ‘observe and report’ and radio the Metro Transit Control Center, which relays requests for assistance to the appropriate law enforcement agencies.”

I guess they dint anticipate this kinda ordeal would happen did they. What’s the purpose of having this people that a video surveillance can’t do, I mean this is a contractor they hired which mean a lot of money of having this people supposedly to be protecting the public, but it turns out, they are just there to watch and report, that dint do much good to the girl who got rob did it.

Watching the tape on how those people showed no regards to the security officers and the public tells a lot on how they were raised and what town that they were raised in, their parents needs to be sued and those people need the book thrown at them. They had to known that the officers would not intervene and that is where the problem lies because the system is broken. This is an outrage.

I grow up within the Seattle area and the authorities and fucked up, when they are fucked-up, the rest are fucked-up, like this people.Some say they need more police in the area, look as you can see there were 3 officers within reach, how many more do you need. Stupid system.

In some ways, the 3 officers couldn’t do much even if they wanted because of how the contract was laid out, so who’s to blame? I blame the Seattle Public Officials or who ever signed the agreement of the contract. Stupid, real stupid.

Related articles.

Seattle authorities to review security rules after transit beating (cnn.com)
Bus-tunnel attack while guards watched prompts review of Metro security (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
Who’s to Blame for the Tunnel Attack? (seattletransitblog.com)

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A Discovery spokesman says the Harris family contacted the network Tuesday evening with word of his death.

Excerpts from the Cornelia Marie’s website.

Posted on January 30, 2010

Captain Phil Harris suffered a stroke yesterday at St. Paul Island in Alaska. He was medivacked to Anchorage and is currently at a hospital receiving treatment.

He was immediately taken to the clinic in St. Paul – the same place he was treated when he had a blood clot two years ago. Read it here

Posted on January 31, 2010

Last night Capt. Phil underwent surgery.  Both of his sons, Josh and Jake were at his side.  Josh flew in from St. Paul to join his brother.  It may be some time before we know anything substantial about Phil’s condition. Read it here.

Posted on February 3, 2010

Thank you to everyone who has shared their concern for Capt. Phil, his family and crew.   We have received thousands of emails and comments from everywhere.

As we said in the last post, we will let you know when we have any substantial news about Capt. Phil. He continues to be supported by Jake and Josh and other family and friends. Read it here.

Posted on February 6, 2010

Capt. Phil was talking to friends and family today; showing his greatest progress since he suffered a massive stroke one week ago.  It’s been a long and difficult week for friends and family as Phil was medivaced from St. Paul Island and under went surgery. Read it here.

That was the last post from corneliamarie.com. It seem as if he was making progress on the 6th of Feb and was talking.

Update:Deadliest Catch Captain Phil Harris Dies

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• November 27, 2009 -- Stranded in Dutch Harbor, Alaska

SALISBURY, Conn. (AP) – Actor Elmore “Rip” Torn has been charged with breaking into a Connecticut bank and carrying a loaded handgun while intoxicated.

State police say the 78-year-old Salisbury resident was arrested Friday night after police found him inside the Litchfield Bancorp with a loaded revolver. Read more

Rip Torn on Wikipedia

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Two New York Police Department patrolmen were suspended after a video surfaced showing them beating a handcuffed suspect during an undercover drug operation, police officials said Thursday.

Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said he decided to suspend John Cicero and William Green as soon as he saw the video shot by a witness looking out an apartment window in the Bronx on Jan. 5.
“We simply are never going to tolerate something like that,” Kelly said. “We are going to take swift and firm action when we see activities of that nature.”

Kelly said that two sergeants supervising the officers were put on desk duty pending the outcome of internal affairs and Bronx District Attorney’s office investigations. The department didn’t name the sergeants.

Asked about the suspended officers, a Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association spokesman declined comment.

The video shows Cicero and Green bending down to punch the suspect, Jonathan Baez, as other officers mill about.

A lawyer for Baez, Jeffrey Emdin, said the other officers should be punished as well.

“If you look at their faces, there’s not one look of outrage or disgust,” Emdin said. “None of them intervened or reported this…. It reflects business as usual.”

Emdin alleged other men also were assaulted by police following a frantic foot chase with a drug suspect.

Police say the drug suspect, not Baez, ran into a basement and unleashed a pit bull that charged the officers. A ricocheting bullet fired by an officer aiming at the dog grazed two detectives. The dog also was hit, but survived.

Drug charges against Baez were dismissed, his lawyer said.

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A Twitter Friend ask me if I could review one of his clients shopping site at UrbanStone.co.uk where you can compare shopping prices and check out some shopping deals available online, I said “sure, why not”.

At UrbanStone you can search and review each product with the product review service and compare the cheapest deals offer.

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